We’re Clearly not Capable of Taking Care of Ourselves…

Last week an inmate at the Erie County Holding Center escaped, while shackled, in his cell, and behind a protective barrier, out onto the roof where he smiled and waved to cameras as the officers tried desperately to get him back into custody. Brian Collins rigged his cell door, learned the guards’ routine, and timed it perfectly. He even took a radio and used it to tell guards to open doors, and they had no idea they were talking to an escaped prisoner. It took two months to plan, and the whole point wasn’t even to escape, it was to do exactly what he did- cause a spectacle and make fools of the people who are supposed to be keeping us safe. Only in Buffalo do we have prisoners trying to get on the roof rather than flee the building. Thanks, we’d much rather look like asses while you’re all over our TVs than search the city for you.

Because that wasn’t enough of a spectacle, yesterday a 21-year-old at the Tonawanda police station maneuvered out of his handcuffs, escaped the building, and disappeared for a few hours before strolling back to the station to turn himself in. That was very considerate of him, considering no one could find him until then. How does one get out of his handcuffs? By licking them, obviously. Derek Schlifke licked his wrists and then slid his cuffs right off and walked out the door. It took an hour to realize he was missing, and four hours later he came back.

If you’re keeping count, that’s twice in two weeks that prisoners have gotten out of different jails in the area just to prove they could do it. That’s not good. Especially when you think back to the whole Bucky Phillips fiasco, which was far more dangerous and lasted for months before he decided to stop playing games with troopers and show himself. I know these places weren’t built to be Alcatraz, and even that had one or two jailbreaks, but this is ridiculous. I feel like these people are being put in Monopoly jail or something- you get arrested, go to jail, then take your turn rolling dice until you get doubles, then you’re free! How does this happen, and why is it always here? Buffalo needs a babysitter or something to make sure we don’t hurt ourselves because we obviously aren’t old enough to take care of ourselves.

Original sources:

http://www.wgrz.com/news/local/story.aspx?storyid=70829&catid=13

http://www.wgrz.com/news/local/story.aspx?storyid=71032&catid=37