Bike-by, you say? It's the hottest thing since the drive-by.

I'm back, finally. Sorry for the disappearing act, school demanded all of my time for a bit but now I'm back and ready to catch up on all the wonder that is Buffalo, starting with something I recently read in the news...

Is anyone besides me deeply disturbed by the rise of "bike-by" shootings? Yes, by "rise" I mean I've read about two incidents in the last 8ish months, but that's just a minor detail. Up until the first one, I had no idea this even existed. I don't think that makes me overly sheltered, in fact, I'm sure a lot of you are wondering what I'm talking about. What we're dealing with is one of two possible scenarios (in my opinion) and both are as absurd as the act itself.

Scenario #1: "Half-Baked Gets 'Er Done"

In this situation, our Buffalo gang members (here, nicknamed "Half-Baked") and criminals are so bad at their "jobs" that they are incapable of either stealing a car or straight out buying one with their drug money, thus leaving them unable to commit an actual drive-by shooting. I guess it has to be considered that they did manage to get guns somehow, so they did exert some effort. C- for effort, Half-Baked. Now it is entirely possible that someone's mother took the car without telling aforementioned thug, thus leaving him in quite the pickle. Don't worry folks, that won't stop him; he's focused on the bigger picture- somebody needs to get shot, one way or another. Half-Baked is forced to improvise- run? Risky, he could stumble over an untied shoelace or a crack in the sidewalk. Ah-ha! Half-Baked's little brother, Half-Baked II, has left his Huffy unattended in the front yard. Problem solved, my friends. Just take a minute to picture this- a grown man rolling down the street, ready to attack with a gun in his basket. It's horrific, but hysterical, especially because he got away! That's right, whoever committed this recent "bike-by" got away, on his bicycle, in broad daylight. Both times.

This brings us to Scenario #2: Real- life Possibility.

In this scenario, the picture I'm painting is slightly more horrific and not quite as funny. This situation is one where there are now children, not even old enough to drive, shooting rival gang members as the go by on their bikes, no one suspecting them because they’re just kids. I know that this unfortunate idea is the more likely reality because it seems like every week there’s a new story about teens shooting other teens.

Faced with these situations, you can either let yourself drown in the sad reality that Buffalo gangs have come to include children, or you can take a step back and accept it for what it is, life. And if you can’t laugh at the absurdity of life, then I’m sorry for you because that’s part of living. Is shooting people funny? Of course not, unless it’s you shooting yourself in the leg Plexico, then we’re all going to laugh openly at you. But it is an absurd situation we’re faced with, there’s no denying that, and if you look at it how I do, you can find the humor in it. Besides, since the shooter got away, no one can actually prove it wasn’t Scenario #1.