The Chickens have flown the coop....

And they've landed directly in downtown Buffalo. In case you haven't heard, as of a few months ago, people are allowed to keep chickens on their property. IN THE CITY. Now I can appreciate the pleasure of having fresh eggs for breakfast, but not in the middle of Manhattan. How often do you see chickens squawking out the window on 5th avenue? Never. And that's not because New Yorkers don't love eggs. It's because it is completely inappropriate to have a chicken coop in a city. The whole concept is absurd! Where would you keep them? Your back porch? How will they get the proper care in a small, cramped, city yard? Why do you want chickens in the city to begin with? Those are two totally different lifestyles that just do not mesh.

To its credit, Buffalo officials did impose guidelines. Useless, retarded, vague guidelines, but I can't just ignore the fact that they exist. By the way, it's embarrassing that these are the  kinds of things I have to give Buffalo officials credit for. In case you're curious, there will be no roosters permitted, and no more than 5 chickens per house. Mind you, that's more than the amount of dogs you can legally have. There are other guidelines but they're not even worth mentioning, they're not amusing or purposeful. The chickens were banned in the first place because of health concerns and chicken fights. Health concerns, you say? I guess they're not a concern anymore. Maybe the chickens got vaccinated before they moved in. Chicken fights aren't really my area of knowledge but I'm willing to bet that if the police can't get a handle on dog fights and mistreatment of normal pets, they're probably not too up on the local chicken fighting. Not to mention, chickens are loud. And dirty. And a redneck trademark. Go to Springville, there's plenty of evidence down there for who should be owning and raising chickens.

On a more serious note, there are plenty of suburbs around Buffalo where you could happily raise chickens in a much more comfortable, well-suited environment. The houses aren't 5 feet away from each other, your chickens don't run the risk of being involved in a drive-by, and you (the redneck who owns them) will be much more comfortable where you can ride your John Deere all the way to the barn, instead of just to the back porch.