College advice that everyone else is too polite to give..

Since a degree is fairly useful in finding a decent job, I'm putting in my time at one of our local colleges. What college it is doesn't matter, all that matters is the humor I get out of the people I see on a daily basis. Most people probably wouldn't think to put these things out in the open, but after 4+ years of college, I need to try and help these people. Because being a student gives me the opportunity to observe the same large group of people for a good period of time, I've learned to observe and comment on their behavior. So, based on my findings, I've developed a short list of tips to help make the experience more enjoyable for everyone-

1- Dry cereal is never an acceptable food to eat during a class. I don't care if it's 8am and you just finished a Master Cleanse, the last thing anyone else wants to do is listen to you chew. If you must eat, at least have the courtesy to find something that doesn't sound like bones breaking. A banana is soft, chewy, and just as healthy! You'll be full and no one will hate you for chomping in their ears. And believe me, it resonates from one side of the classroom to the other.

2- If you're going to be late to class, at least leave the evidence in the car. Strolling in 15 minutes late with Starbucks in your hand annoys everyone. It makes it embarrassingly obvious to everyone why you were late and it disrespects the teacher. Everyone runs late, it happens. If you're late because of something stupid and obvious, don't show it off to everyone. It just makes you look dumb.

3-Showing up to a morning class in sweats, flip flops, and 10 lbs of makeup is not cute. No one looks at you and thinks, "Wow! That girl is HOT!" Everyone looking at you is wondering why you are wearing so much makeup so early. Every girl in the room knows how long it took you, and it is not okay. If you want to get dressed up, go ahead! Just don't half-ass it or you look like a morning-after work hooker.

4- Wearing heels that you clearly are not comfortable in is almost as bad as makeup and sweats. Everyone watching you wobble down the hallway, or worse, the 5 flights of stairs, is concerned not only for your safety but your sanity as well. If you loved heels, you'd be better at walking in them. And I can promise there is no reason to wear them everyday (which some weeble wobbles do). If you have to work after class, throw flip flops in your bag. It looks much better to be in dress pants and flips flops, smoothly weaving through the halls, than to be stumbling through people focusing all your energy on balance. Trust me, I'm not the only one waiting for you to faceplant. Let's face it, you probably deserve to.

6-Very simple- girls only (usually). Do not flip your hair back so it sits on the desk behind you. That desk is someone else's space and your hair is gross to that person. Unless you accept that one day the person behind you may bring scissors,  just don't do it.

7- Just as simple as 6, but for the guys. Keep your hands out of your pants during class. I don't care what the problem is, how bored you are, there are plenty of acceptable things to fidget with during class besides your junk. It makes people uncomfortable.

8- Lastly, one I used to hope was a rarity. Taking your shoes off in class is NEVER okay. Do you take your shoes off in a grocery store? Or at football games? No! Public places, classrooms included, are not clothing-optional. You look like white trash with no shoes and you know what? That odor is not exclusive to your nose. Everyone can smell it, and they all know it's you, Mr. No Shoes.

Obviously these are not keys to success or tricks for getting As. I just think that if people listened to these little tidbits of advice, spending the majority of your time in the classroom wouldn't be quite so painful.