Unsolved Mysteries, Pt. One

There's a beautiful place in Buffalo known as the Walden Galleria. It's our mall and we love it. The lack of parking at any given time proves just how much people love it. P.F.Chang's is opening soon and pretty much everything else new is done. It's a little sad that everything new for us is 5 years old everywhere else but hey, I'll take what I can get. Anyways, I got sidetracked. I was originally headed in to buy one thing, and I ended up people watching instead. What is with teenagers and their ridiculous clothes? I wasn't allowed to wear that much makeup or that little clothing until I was at least 16. These girls are 14 years old, faces blacked out like Marilyn Manson, glaring at everyone like the world has done them some great injustice. That is, until their iPhones ring that their mothers are outside to pick them up. What are they so miserable about? I just don't understand that craze.

There is only one craze that baffles me more, and living so close to Canada one cannot help but see it everywhere. What is this craze? It has taken over the entire country... I know you've seen it..

Middle-aged Chinese women dressed in Forever 21 jeans, a sparkly halter top that absolutely shows an inch of midriff, 5 inch clear heels, and some gaudy bag. Not to mention, she's usually out with her family who finds nothing wrong with her matching her 12 year old daughter. When did this become okay? Where did they get the idea that "juniors" meant married with children? I guess it's just one of life's great mysteries, never to be solved..